Sunday, April 13, 2008
StephanieCake wishes her friends would do a better job....
...of staying alive.
I know that sounds morbid, but unfortuantely I've lost another friend. This one is more complicated, which is why its taken me a week to work on writing about it. But I need to.
I had only talked to him a couple of times in the past year and we had been out of touch for a number of years before that. I haven't actually seen him since my wedding in December 1995. Certainly its tragic that he passed away - in a motorcycle accident, btw - but I think his death is really hard for me because of what he represented.
I'd known him since 1988. Endless lists of things about him keep forming in my mind.
R.I.P. Craig McGiffin; May 4, 1974 - April 7, 2008
I know that sounds morbid, but unfortuantely I've lost another friend. This one is more complicated, which is why its taken me a week to work on writing about it. But I need to.
I had only talked to him a couple of times in the past year and we had been out of touch for a number of years before that. I haven't actually seen him since my wedding in December 1995. Certainly its tragic that he passed away - in a motorcycle accident, btw - but I think his death is really hard for me because of what he represented.
I'd known him since 1988. Endless lists of things about him keep forming in my mind.
- He dated and was married to my best friend, K. They were together from 1988 until 1996. The details of their divorce is something I don't feel comfortable revealing here out of respect to K.
- I dated two of his good friends. J.M. was a brief relationship - we never clicked and just ended up being friends. S.J. was another story. I actually knew S.J.before Craig. S.J. subsequently had two kids w/, and married, another good friend of mine. No suprise, they're divorced now. I will always have unresolved issues with S.J.
- I used to jokingly call him Cregg McMuffin. He went along with the joke and signed notes to me that way.
- He was a bass player. He opened my eyes to a lot of music that I still listen to today.
- He was fearless. He had a dark, brooding temper. He was scary when he was angry. He was charming. He was a psychopath.
He is being cremated on Wednesday in CA (he was living in San Francisco). Sometime late next month they are bringing his ashes to VA - his mom lives near the Blue Ridge in the southwestern part of the state. There is going to be a funeral/ceremony/memorial thing and, based on what I'm hearing, everyone from the past is coming.
I'm terrified of this reunion. I think its because I've mourned so many things about my past for so long and this might provide closure. That should be a good thing, shouldn't it?
Labels: sadness
// posted by Stephanie Cake @ 4/13/2008 12:06:00 PM 
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i just found this. (only just found out he was dead, since i finally got pissed enough at him not returning my calls to google him) i knew craig from 1997 till he died, briefly dating in 2000/2001. you're right, he was a psychopath. he was also a little boy in a grown up body, silly beyond belief, a great hot dog chef, and professional consumer of gross tiki drinks in chinese restaurants. i felt like we had unfinished business, or at least unfinished conversations. the last time i spoke to him, he was out in san francisco and really excited about getting back together with cat, and was even talking about them trying to have a baby. i wish i could talk to him one more time.
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