Stephanie Cake

Six Feet Under. I know, I'm totally behind the times. This show has been on HBO for, like, 3 years. But, alas, I only have basic cable, so get off my back, yo.

I borrowed Season One from my neighbors and blew through it in 3 days. I am now anxiously awaiting Season Two from my Netflix queue. Xmas mail is gumming the works up and I am pissed about that.

Its a fucking cool show and totally not what I expected. I may have to start selling my plasma so I can get HBO and see the current season.

I really need to get a life.

This made my heart stop.
Because this is someone I care about a lot.

The Helping Verb Song
(sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Be, being, been
Am, is, are
Was, were, has, have, had
Do, does, did
Can, may, might, must
Shall, will, should, could ,would

The Hee-Haw Song
Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why must you leave me hear all alone?
I searched the whole world
And thought I'd found true love
You met another
And [pffffft] you were gone!

My spelling bee champion words in the 5th grade
pneumonoultramicroscopicvolcanoconiosis (allegedly the longest word in the English language in 1983)
dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane (that's DDT, y'all)
What's really on my mind is why 5th graders were being asked to spell this shit.

Every so often I have a moment of clarity. Sometimes it comes with a reverie where I remember really random and meaningless things.

This morning I was driving and the sky was really blue and the leafless trees were a stark contrast and I felt a moment of lucidity. And I had a memory.

It was the memory of this restaurant in Fredericksburg VA, where I grew up. My dad loved eating there. It was called Hot Shoppes and was across Rt. 1/Jeff Davis Hwy from James Monroe High School. My dad always ordered a Mighty Mo hamburger which I think was sort of like a Big Mac.

The Hot Shoppes in F'burg was knocked down when I was still really young but I have this wavering memory of the inside of it.... all '70's-like with faux wood laminate and fake plants. It had big windows like any diner-ish establishment and probably some avacado green vinyl covered booths. I also remember the bank beside it which my memory tells me had the same sort of decor. There was also a Photomat nearby. It was all situated across from the Safeway where my mom shopped and down the road from the ubiquitous Park & Shop at Rt. 1 and College Ave.

In my quest to verify that my memories were correct I googled Hot Shoppes... found the recipe for the Might Mo... a lot of references to Marriott and the fact that there are still 3 Hot Shoppes in existance in the DC/NoVa area. And then I stumbled upon this.

While I have quite a bit of disdain for most of the people who currently live in my hometown (with the absolute exception of my mother and a few family friends)... they're all either ignorant rednecks or transplants who came there because its "so quaint and historic" and have turned it into a total cluster-fuck Northern Virginian annex (but I digress, that rage will have to be expressed at another time).... I did read some of the Fredtalk posts. OMG. The memories from my childhood:

Hambuger Haven -- which was a little burger stand in front of the bowling alley on Princess Anne St. The bowling alley is now some kind of country western place called Houston's. When I was in HS I think it was called the Yellow Rose or something like that. The Step Down, a biker bar, on Princess Anne. I thought it was still there but I guess not. I never went there but always heard it was a crazy place. When K-mart was at Park & Shop... Frank's Nursery is there now. Of course Frank's is going out of business. Carl's ice cream -- no need to describe it, its a legend -- chocolate on a sugar cone please. Sigh.

Let me clarify. I HATE WINTER. This morning it was 7 degrees. It was colder in Maryland than it was in f'ing Alaska.
I hate chapped lips. I hate being cold. I hate static electricty. I can't even pet the cat without getting shocked and just this morning, I got about 120 volts of direct current when I tried to open the car door. I hate wind and snow. And freezing rain. I can't stand shivering. I hate when my nose is cold and my fingers are so cold I can't type. My house is old and drafty and I hate freezing cold wood floors. I like sweaters and hats but dislike the itch of wool. I hate seeing my breath and I hate frost. These are the days when I'm so happy I don't live in Minnesota but sooooo wish I lived in Miami or LA.

Yesterday was one of the best days I have had in a really long time. I spent most of the day in my "workshop" (read: corner of the shed not occupied by the lawnmower). I made a sterling silver pendant set with an old piece of a carpenter's ruler and a pair of earrings for my mom's birthday.

The earrings are made from PMC, which for the uninitiated is "precious metal clay". Basically, tiny microscopic bits of silver (they do make PMC gold too) suspended in some kind of organic binder. You create the piece as if you're making something from ceramic and then when you fire it in a kiln, the silver particles sinter (uh... melt together) and you end up with a slightly smaller piece identical to what you put in the kiln. It also ends up being 99.9% pure silver, or fine silver.

This was my first foray into PMC and I'm really pleased with the result. The image on the earrings was made by pressing the face of a pewter bead into the clay... it is sort of a pastoral looking scene w/ a house and a water wheel or something. I was amazed at the preservation of the detail from clay to the completed piece.

As for the pendant. Its really derivative. Sorta Thomas Mann/Keith LoBue/Bob Ebendorff/Lisa Fidler but nowhere as interesting. But I'm happy with it. Its the first metalsmithing I've done in 9 years.

I had forgotten how happy I can be with the challenges of manipulating metal. The meditative quality of filing silver sheet. The magical zone you have to be in to make solder flow. The thrill of having it all work. And I think I'm far more patient now than I used to be. I think that's what I was lacking during my undergrad work.

I need to pester Rob to take better photos for me. The scanner just doesn't cut it with shiny stuff. The earring is a blurry mess, in fact. But its MY blurry mess.... and I LOVE IT.

Click the links below the thumbnails for a better look.

ruler necklace.jpg
PMC earring.jpg

"So! You won't take warning, eh? All the worse for you, then. I'll take care of you now instead of later! Hah! When I gain those ruby slippers, my power will be the greatest in Oz! And now, my beauties! Something with poison in it, I think. With poison in it, but attractive to the eye -- and soothing to the smell! (laughs) Poppies! Poppies! Poppies!"

You know the scene from the Wizard of Oz where they are running through the field of poppies and Dorothy and the lion fall asleep? They see the Emerald City looming ahead of them but they become so sleepy they can't go on. Before she falls down, Dorothy says "Oh -- Oh -- what's happening? What is it? I can't run anymore. I'm so.... ...sleepy. Oh, no -- please. I have to rest for just a minute." I know that feeling soooo well.

In the past few days I have slept more than I have been awake, I think. I've never been a stranger to easy sleeping. I can sleep almost anywhere. I used to sleep on my desk in study hall. I can always snooze when I'm riding in a car (usually not when driving but that's another story altogether). Give me a warm blanket and a soft pillow and I can sack out any place any time with no problem.

But this is like narcolepsy. Like I have to lie down and sleep. I have no choice. I'm yawning now as I type. Its problematic because I have so many things to do and so little time to do them... I feel like Dorothy with The Emerald City just within reach.... YAWN.....

so you can rest medicine. Nyquil. Yeeeeaaaacch. It turns my stomach. It gives me no relief.

I feel like ass. I have felt like ass since I woke up yesterday morning. I spent the entire day on the couch drifting in and out of consciousness. Today I forced myself to pretend I'm not sick because I have neglected a lot of stuff. Today more than yesterday, I would love some comfort.

When I'm sick I crave comfort. I can't stand any amount of discomfort when I'm not feeling well. I've been known to leave work early when I'm only mildly ill because my desk chair was annoying me. Yeah, I'm a huge baby. But before you condemn me, also know that I have worked 7 days a week for a month straight during the retail season with bronchitis and strep. I've done my time. I deserve to be a baby these days.

Since its the holiday season, and I'm inundated with Christmas carols, I can't help but think of The Sound of Music and Julie Andrews' sickeningly sweet inventory of a few of her favorite things.... My favorite things are the things that give me comfort. A sense of peace, no matter how brief:

• Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens....
• Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens... ok, ok... I'm kidding!

For real:

• The smell of lavender or sandalwood
• A bath towel right out of the dryer
• That soft baby fur behind a cat's ear
• A warm quilt and a big fluffy pillow
• Brownies - the gooey fudgey kind - with no nuts
• The early morning silence during a snow fall
• The smell of soap on another person
• Fountain sodas - even if they're just from McD's or Royal Farms
• The air after a thunderstorm
• Pink and orange together
• Sitting in a dark room with only the Christmas tree lights on
• When someone goes to sleep in your arms... particularly if its a cat or a baby
• My grandmother's laugh

If my days were filled with these things, and not with annoying clients, dirty laundry, bills and sinus congestion, I bet I would be one happy person.

I am a terrible recruiter. Its official. I need to just swallow my pride and go back to the shackles of corporate America.

I have been doing this freelance gig for one month now and I have made ZERO placements. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.

I had one placement that the hiring manager was nuts about. I mean NUTS. He called me all excited. I figured I'd have some cash on that one pretty soon. But today that one has fallen through because the hiring committee (its a gov't contract dealio) doesn't want the guy.

I found THE PERFECT candidate for my client in Tampa. I mean PERFECT. Had 120% of the skills they were looking for. Had a great interview with him on Friday. Today he emails and says that he wants to find a job in Vegas and doesn't want to commit to anything in Tampa.

Most everyone else doesn't return my calls or turns out to be a total loser. I suck. And I HATE recruiting.

When is the perfect job gonna fall out of the sky? When is someone very rich going to decide to pay me for being cute????? Sigh.

It's a wonder Tanner hasn't killed us in our sleep yet.
We are very irresponsible pet owners.
We should be ashamed of ourselves.