Stephanie Cake

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate my fellow human beings? Really. Every last person I come in contact with generally gets on my nerves at some point. Last week I got close to the screaming point with hating people. Luckily Labor Day rolled around and I had myself a nice, quiet, mostly people-free 3 day weekend.

I think modern society creates situations that drive nonconformists, like myself, to the edge. The other night I went to "Back to School Night" at Connor's school. A delightful opportunity to sit in a sweltering elementary school gymnatorium and hear about Giant Food Bonus Bucks for computer equipment and the school's 50th anniversary plans.

Don't get me wrong, I care a hell of a lot about my kid's education. But I'm NOT a soccer mom. I don't feel that its necessary to drive a mini-van with a big soccer ball sticker on the back, sell Pampered Chef on the side, go to scrapbooking parties and get my french manicure at Nails3000 in the Food Lion shopping center in order to have a happy well adjusted child.

Anyway, I'm sweating my ass off in nice looking suit (complete with my favorite spectator slingbacks) amidst a slew of slovenly stay at home moms in stretch pants and I'm looking around and I'm thinking... "why am I here??" All these women aren't here because of their kid's education but to chit chat and compare notes on their Jamaican summer trips. They make me sick. And I feel venom coursing through my veins. I just want to meet with my boy's teacher and get the hell out of there. I can feel my heart racing and acute anxiety ensuing.

And this was only Tuesday evening. Several more hatred-for-people induced panic attacks, not worth mentioning, followed that week..... why do I hate people so much? I gotta get off my high horse already!