Monday, August 30, 2004
Dances with Squirrels
What do you get when you combine a bleeding heart liberal with a furry dewy-eyed orphan? Yes, just call me "Squirrel Mama"...
I was lying in bed on Saturday around 10 am, trying to psyche myself up to haul ass out to my studio space in the shed and finish a long overdue project for a client in Kansas when Connor came tearing into the bedroom. "Mommymommymommiiiiiiieeeeeee! Come quick! Mollie and I found a squirrel baby!!!"
I threw on some jeans and trudged outside with little conviction. Lo and behold there was a baby squirrel about the size of one of those McDonald's beanie baby bears shivering and shaking under the climbing tree (its actually a bush but why fight with the kids about it). My neighbor was sure it was near death but I wasn't convinced. A quick trip to the good ole internet (squirrelworld.com?! who knew?!) learnt me that it was a girl squirrel, about 6 weeks old and she was probably dehydrated and very hungry. Apparently squirrels will nurse until they are several months old... again, who knew?!
Good sense left me, as did the urge to avoid a fight with my husband who works for the Department of Natural Resources and makes his living teaching people to "leave the goddamn wildlife alone". This little critter was just too darned cute and helpless so I had to help her.
Several hours and a trip to Royal Farms, Walmart & Petco later, she was rejuiced w/ Gatorade, washed with baby shampoo (gets the fleas to hop off) and had a belly full of puppy formula (squirrels are vegetarians so dog related foods are best in a pinch). She curled up in one of Connor's old t-shirts in a box on my workbench and cat-napped the afternoon away, enjoying a Gatorade and formula cocktail every few hours. She was very sweet and my heartstrings kept turning a blind eye to logic... "let's keep her! she'd make such a cute pet!", they said. I had to bitch slap my heartstrings quite a few times.
Upon Rob's return home, I took my tongue lashing but I know his coal black heart started crumbling when he saw her. Between warnings such as "did you wash your hands??" and "are there fleas all over the place now??" he did mention "she is awfully cute...". He finally relented and got off the throw-the-thing-in-the-woods-already/even-cute-things-need-to-die-its-nature's-way-you-know tip and got me the phone number of one of the local rehabbers he has worked with. He even went as far as driving me and squirrel girl to her place on Sunday morning.
A word on the rehabilitator.... Gerta at Wildlife Rescue Inc. in Hampstead, MD is a genuine angel with a heart of gold. She takes in all kinds of wildlife in trouble - raccoons, possums, foxes, ducks, hawks, neglected and discarded exotic birds, songbirds, etc. And she does it without any support, all on donations. Our squirrel girl joined about 5 other squirrel orphans (and a hateful looking possum infant) in a warming box - they will spend the fall and winter with Gerta and be released in the spring. A stage whisper to all the rich tree huggers: If you have any loose cash lying around and need a worthy cause - Wildlife Rescue is an excellent donation choice. There are also many other good hearted licensed rehabbers all over the country who would love a generous donation.
So, feeling sad because I was missing squirrel girl but happy to know she was in a safe and loving place, we returned home. And then....
About an hour later, squirrel baby II showed up in our neighbor's yard. He was a little worse for wear, having spend his night out in the elements and not in the warm safety of the shed like his sister. Rob finally relented ("oh, for christ's sakes - go get the box and the food and take care of him already!!!") and let me feed and bathe him. He was unfortunately infested not only with fleas but with bottle fly eggs - ACK. But after a little bath and lots to drink he was looking, and obviously feeling, better. He had a good night and I gave him breakfast after getting Connor ready for school this morning. He was notably scrappier than his sister - frequently "chrrruuupping" at me which I was feeding him and bathing him.
Rob was off work today and planned to head back to Gerta's place once the morning routine was done. Since today was also Connor's first day in second grade, we upheld the family tradition of Rob taking his picture in the front yard with his backpack, all grinning and sheepish. Waiting for the bus, we perched on the tailgate of the truck, chugging second cups of coffee, and teased Connor about school.
All of a sudden, Rob exclaimed "oh no! look at that!" Following his gesture to the spot he had just been standing for the back-to-school photography, I see squirrel baby III. Rob has, at this point, given up on his stern squirrel hating facade and rushed to the shed to get the box containing squirrel baby II and the Gatorade/formula cocktail. I adminstered a quick meal, stopping to kiss Connor goodbye as he boarded the bus.
Squirrel baby III was smaller than his brother and sister - maybe the runt of the litter? He was also the most fiesty. But I think this had more to do with him also being the hungriest. After a belly full, he settled down for a nap with his brother. I was only able to spend a few minutes with them this morning as I had to head to work. Rob canvassed the yard to be sure there were no more orphans (knock wood, cross fingers!!!) and the story ends happily with them joining a whole preschool class of squirrel babies, including their sister, this afternoon.
Happiness is a warm squirrel baby.
I would be a bad citizen if I didn't include the following disclaimer... its generally a very bad idea to mess with wildlife. Although most animals don't have rabies, it is a very real risk. Even without rabies, wild animals carry staph infections, tetanus, salmonella, fleas, lice, parasites and all kinds of other nastiness.
Also, much of the time, "orphaned babies" aren't really orphaned. They're really more like the lost toddler at Wal-mart - the mom, in a frenzy, will eventually find it. Well meaning people cause more harm than good by scooping babies up without backing off and giving the mom a chance to come back.
Examples include: owl babies... before they can fly, they will climb down the tree using their beak and feet and hop around. They almost always return to their nest without any intervention and should be left alone. Squirrels... are often shoved out of the nest as the litter grows. Given time, the mom will come get the fallen youngster. (in our case we are almost 100% sure, the mom has been killed, however) Vulture babies (yeah I know, who rescues vulture babies??)... some types of vultures actually nest right on the ground so the babies are mistaken as orphans when they are actually just hanging out while their mom hunts for dead vermin.
Finally, in most localities there are state laws - and even some federal laws - prohibiting the handling of wildlife. In most places, you have 48 hours to tend to a distressed critter before you need to hand it over to a licensed rehabber.
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