Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Its tough parenting your parents
Today was especially tough @ the hospital. I'm starting to get irritable and frustrated and more than a little scared over my dad. I don't know how my stepmother deals with him and how she's holding it together (although today I saw a few cracks in her composure and that scares me too).
I sat with him for about an hour during the late visiting hours last night and his night nurse assured me everything was ok. He hasn't needed Ativan or anything and he'd been sleeping comfortably, eating well, etc. But then this morning I came in to find out that he'd ripped out his ventricular catheter.
Frightening for the fact that this thing was attached to his BRAIN but also because they can't monitor the pressure in there anymore. And then this afternoon his blood pressure kept spiking and wasn't responding to the medication. They had taken him off the heavy BP meds but now I think they are reintroducing some.
He slept a lot and seemed very irritable and restless most of the day. Some of his cognitive stuff is improving... he's starting to remember the year (albeit after a few tries) as well as the president. He still refuses to believe that its July and that his birthday was this weekend but then he was able to answer correctly that he is 57. At one point he couldn't remember Sissy's name (although he wasn't confused about who she was) and that was troubling for all of us, including the nurse. He's been able to easily identify all of his family members since he got off the ventilator.
I'm back going back home again tonight and then off to PP tomorrow night. I'm kind of looking forward to the diversion of teaching for a couple of days although I'm praying that nothing happens while I'm down there. Aside from that I'm thoroughly mentally exhausted. I think I need to sleep for about 4 days to recover from the stress so far.
I sat with him for about an hour during the late visiting hours last night and his night nurse assured me everything was ok. He hasn't needed Ativan or anything and he'd been sleeping comfortably, eating well, etc. But then this morning I came in to find out that he'd ripped out his ventricular catheter.
Frightening for the fact that this thing was attached to his BRAIN but also because they can't monitor the pressure in there anymore. And then this afternoon his blood pressure kept spiking and wasn't responding to the medication. They had taken him off the heavy BP meds but now I think they are reintroducing some.
He slept a lot and seemed very irritable and restless most of the day. Some of his cognitive stuff is improving... he's starting to remember the year (albeit after a few tries) as well as the president. He still refuses to believe that its July and that his birthday was this weekend but then he was able to answer correctly that he is 57. At one point he couldn't remember Sissy's name (although he wasn't confused about who she was) and that was troubling for all of us, including the nurse. He's been able to easily identify all of his family members since he got off the ventilator.
I'm back going back home again tonight and then off to PP tomorrow night. I'm kind of looking forward to the diversion of teaching for a couple of days although I'm praying that nothing happens while I'm down there. Aside from that I'm thoroughly mentally exhausted. I think I need to sleep for about 4 days to recover from the stress so far.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
My quality of life continues to deteriorate
2006 has not been a really great year. Its been supremely crappy in fact. As I have mentioned previously, among other things, my grandfather died in February. And I wrecked my car last month. The newest development is that my father (whom I don't have a great relationship with) has suffered a subarachnoid hemorrage (SAH) and is in the ICU at Mary Washington Hospital until further notice.
In plain English, that means a blood vessel in his brain popped. The bleeding caused pressure in his head and they had to perform a ventriculostomy... which is medical lingo for a hole in his skull.... to drain the blood and fluid out.
Luckily, an SAH is not exactly the same thing as a stroke (which is where the brain is deprived of oxygen and actual brain tissue dies). Of course its pretty serious on its own. The major complication... and actually the ultimate cause of the hypertension which lead to the hemorrage..... is his raging alcoholism. He's going through withdrawl and DT's (delerium tremens), which I didn't realize is actually potentially fatal.
My friend William was joking about having DT's the other night because he didn't go the bar and we were laughing about him having the shakes, etc. But I found out that tremors are just a part of garden variety alcohol withdrawl. DT's occur in only about 5% of alcohol withdrawls and actually involves seizures, hallucinations, psychosis, confusion and serious heart/blood pressure/neurological effects.
But I digress.... I've spent the past 3 days at the hospital sitting with Daddy and my stepmom, Sissy. He came off the ventilator on Friday afternoon and by this morning was able to feed himself some breakfast. All that is very good. But his confusion and memory loss is really distressing. At first I thought it was from the hemorrage... and some of it probably is. But much of it is probably due to the alcoholism and the withdrawl. I suspect the worst of his cognitive state is still to come but they have him on Haldol and Ativan to help him through the night.
I'm going back down tomorrow. I really hope that he has some improvement. Regardless of my own selfish, emotional issues with him, he really is a good man and he doesn't deserve to suffer the affects of his self abuse.
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