Monday, January 03, 2005
I am the walrus, Goo Goo Goo Joob....
Holy cow, I can't believe its 2005. Fucking A! 2005!!! I just never contemplated life in 2005. The holidays were pretty crazy. They sped by way too fast. Too fast to enjoy.
I thought a lot during the holidays, though. I had a moment or two with some people who continually influence my life. That was a good thing.
I'm still totally at a crossroads with what to do with myself. During a roadtrip to NC to see my grandparents, my mom said the most bizarre thing to me. She was doing her usual ranting about my father and her life and her trials and tribulations (don't get me wrong, I love my mother more than anything but its no wonder I can't talk about my feeling to very many people. Its often or always about her. And its a broken record of the same old same. But I digress...). And she said, "Your father is a very unhappy man. He once told me that he was looking for happiness and that he'd know it when he found it. I don't think he'll ever find it."
This statement just capped me in the knees. Aside from reminding how much I am like my father, I was taken by the fact that someone close to me (or who used to be close to me) could have the same feelings and disillusions that I do. Clearly this apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Anyway, while I still don't know what I'm going to do with myself, I had a moment of clarity a couple of days ago. I got a creative idea. I read No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty. And from now until February 3 (yeah, I'm bucking the system and not following the strict 1st thru 30th timeline constraints) I am taking the NaNoWriMo challenge. I thought about waiting until
November but I figure I'll never actually do it if I lose my current momentum.
I'll think about posting the finished results in February.
I thought a lot during the holidays, though. I had a moment or two with some people who continually influence my life. That was a good thing.
I'm still totally at a crossroads with what to do with myself. During a roadtrip to NC to see my grandparents, my mom said the most bizarre thing to me. She was doing her usual ranting about my father and her life and her trials and tribulations (don't get me wrong, I love my mother more than anything but its no wonder I can't talk about my feeling to very many people. Its often or always about her. And its a broken record of the same old same. But I digress...). And she said, "Your father is a very unhappy man. He once told me that he was looking for happiness and that he'd know it when he found it. I don't think he'll ever find it."
This statement just capped me in the knees. Aside from reminding how much I am like my father, I was taken by the fact that someone close to me (or who used to be close to me) could have the same feelings and disillusions that I do. Clearly this apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Anyway, while I still don't know what I'm going to do with myself, I had a moment of clarity a couple of days ago. I got a creative idea. I read No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty. And from now until February 3 (yeah, I'm bucking the system and not following the strict 1st thru 30th timeline constraints) I am taking the NaNoWriMo challenge. I thought about waiting until
November but I figure I'll never actually do it if I lose my current momentum.
I'll think about posting the finished results in February.
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